VampireRave.com - Profile for MirageInAComa

Proud member of

Life...

Secrets…
See the world through my not-so-rose-colored glasses.
See what I have seen.
Do as I have done.
No promises; no regrets…most of the time.
I wear a mask.
It doesn’t change who I am.

Recent events in this so called life have influenced me to change what I have posted previously.
My world has changed without my consent.
Perhaps it’s a dream within a dream.

I’m a fool.

All that matters to me is
to know when it’s all over,
that I did what I wanted to do.
Kissed who I wanted to kiss.
Participated in wicked things and
reeked havoc in all that I did.
To be fiercely loyal to those that mattered.
To crush and annihilate all who took more than they ever gave.

I must live with the fact that I have wronged people
that have come along my path.
I don't make any excuses.
I'm a realist.
I don't apologize for what I've done.

I'm the first to admit that I don't know much about anything.
Although, I do love "knowing" stuff...being intelligent is above all else
(ok, to a certain degree!).
Looks do NOT matter to a person of taste.
In the big scheme of things, you grow old.
You change; even the undead change from within which reflects on the outside.
You can't escape it.
I don't pretend to know anything.

I don't consider myself the typical female, nor would I ever want to be.

I don't expect "understanding".

Athough, it would be nice to share my thoughts with someone who knows where I'm coming from. It would be nice to know that someone out there hears and feels what I'm saying. It's so hard to be alone in this life. I mean you can have a million friends but only a close personal few that "get" you. As always, like life, this is a work in progress.

My sister is

jaggedxtears
She's the one that showed me the way to this awfully good place. She's the one that inspired me to make my profile what it is. She said throw in details. So I did. She said add things. I did. In a way, I owe it all to her - - this little piece of the imaginary (?) world that I can call my own but that doesn't exist in material form.

Shit like that messes with the mind.

My daughter,

InsanityHasPigtails
Please be kind. She's a teenager. Her profile is a work in progress...she's working on customizing her profile.

jaggedxtears said, "Write more about yourself". I didn't know what to write. So I thought and thought and thought.

And then it came to me...

I was born, raised and still live in California. I've never considered leaving...I would never want to. I can't imagine my life elsewhere. Perhaps it's because I haven't been anywhere else to compare it to. I'm not blonde and I'll never be a model. Does it matter? We live in an image based society - it matters to someone out there. Not me. Pointing out facts. I'm blunt. I'll tell you the truth, even if you don't like it.
I'm the Sitar from the movie,
Moulin Rouge,
"I only speak the truth..."

I can chat up a storm and all of a sudden stop like it was nothing and move on.

Don't take offense, I am who I am here in this silicon society just as I am who I am in real life.

Confused? I don't change. In other words, who I am here is who I am if you knew me here in flesh and blood.

I think I look like my profile photo. In fact, I know I do. My look is constantly changing. I'm not sure why. It's not like I make an effort to look different - I just do. I think I change depending on how I feel on any given day. The main picture was taken with a camera phone. Camera phones, friend to those of us that want a camera that is kind to our looks - - that's kind to MY looks.

I look older than what that picture shows. I mean, I'm over 30 and under 40. How vague is that? I'm 37 - I tell the truth even when I don't like it. I do not have flawless skin *gasp & shock*

I'm screwed...

Sometimes I have the tendency to keep information to myself. Some would say that I'm secretive. I just believe that in some cases, it's better to remain quiet.

Art is my life. I work in information technology but my real passion is art. I try to draw when I can, but sometimes real life takes over like a gray quiet. I don't like myself when I don't take the time to do things that I love. I start drawing...and then I stop and then I start again. It's like this cycle.

The drawing in the background in my profile is my own original artwork. It hangs on someone's wall in San Antonio, Texas. He was suppose to give it back. I haven't seen it since. A part of me hangs on a wall...I hate leaving pieces of me somewhere.

I remember some fool told me,
"How can you love something that doesn't love you back?"
I never spoke to that person again...why would I want to?
I do love art.
I love everything about it.

Anyone who can express how they feel inside on paper/music/wood/glass/etc.
has so much to offer this dismal world.

It doesn't have to be a beautiful piece,
it just has to come from inside you.

Yeah, I could go on and write a novel, but why bore you with my funny way of thinking.

My protection...

More updates sooner or later...
Soon?

Wicked thoughts and strange dreams are burning inside my head.

Sara Teasdale. A woman ahead of her time.

I love foreign flicks/art films. One of my all time favorites is Amadeus. It's not an "old" (whatever 'old' means) movie...according to some. It's timeless to me. It's one of the few movies I ever made an effort to buy. Yes, I do like all kinds of genres but that film gets to me somewhere deep inside. A place that none can ever reach. Once in awhile you'll catch me watching it. Have you ever heard music in your head? A music full of such longing? See this movie. Or maybe you'll hate it...

I've been watching a lot of movies lately. I watched "American Beauty". I highly recommend you see it. I think I can relate to the main character going crazy and being depressed. He seems to do all that he can to capture "happiness" again. Maybe it's a constant struggle for everyone.

My sister "jaggedxtears" and I playing with a camera phone...

I smoke, I drink, I cuss, etc. NOT all the time nor at the same time. I mean the smoking and drinking. There was a time when I use to do that a lot.

It was ages ago . . . so it seems. I do so miss the Queen.

I exist.

Really.

"To thine own self be true"

Yes, that's right I'm a Scorpio.
The picture is of the tattoo on my lower back...it’s about 3” by 5”…

Yahoo IM:

m a t a h a r i i v y

Rating is subjective.

It’s a “damn if you do and damn if you don’t” deal.
I know people work hard to get the “perfect” profile.
There’s a lot more that I would like to learn and change.
Can’t please all the people all the time.

I do appreciate your comments/thoughts/stuff.

Have a STUNNING evening.

My bracelets: